Episode 97: Elephants in the Room

This features Karen interviewing Genevieve Hawkins. Genevieve is a business leader and author of “Shrinking Elephants”. Together they talk about addressing "elephants in the room", those unspoken tensions that hinder team cohesion and productivity. They discuss how to identify these issues, why they arise and practical strategies for leaders to create a culture where these elephants can be addressed. 

Key Takeaways 

Identifying Elephants 

Signs include eye-rolling, passive-aggressive behavior, sudden changes in demeanor and employees complaining about others without direct confrontation. 

Stories of past grievances resurfacing indicate unresolved issues. 

Why Elephants Exist 

Individuals have unique "lenses" shaped by genetics, childhood experiences and life events, leading to differing perceptions of "truth." 

When these "truths" clash, the animal brain triggers a cortisol response, leading to defensiveness and reduced curiosity. 

Fear and uncertainty drive individuals to defend their views and seek validation. 

Strategies for Leaders 

Cultivate Curiosity: Encourage a mindset of curiosity, challenging assumptions and understanding others' perspectives. 

Manage Cortisol: Recognize and manage cortisol responses in yourself and others, promoting a calmer environment. 

Promote Oxytocin and Serotonin: Foster connection through shared interests, laughter and acts of service. 

Establish Common Language: Introduce the concept of "elephants" and "lenses" to create a safe and relatable framework for discussion. 

Role Modeling: Leaders must demonstrate emotional regulation, vulnerability and a willingness to address their own elephants. 

Skill Development: Provide training and coaching on communication, empathy and conflict resolution. 

Recognize and Elevate: Acknowledge and celebrate individuals who effectively navigate difficult conversations. 

Depersonalize: Help people to understand that the issue is the problem, not the people. 

Create Safe Space: Allow people to take time out when conversations become too heated. 

Encourage Authenticity: Allow people to have emotional responses and then to investigate those emotions. 

Creating a Culture of Open Communication 

Foundation of Connection: Build relationships based on shared interests and strengths.

Acknowledge and Navigate: Introduce the concepts of "elephants" and "lenses" to create a common language. 

Lead by Example: Senior leaders must demonstrate vulnerability and a willingness to address their own elephants. 

Develop Skills: Provide training and coaching on communication and empathy. 

Elevate Skilled Individuals: Recognize and celebrate those who excel at navigating difficult conversations. 

Be prepared to be challenged: Leaders must be prepared for their own elephants to be addressed. 

Genevieve emphasizes that addressing elephants in the room requires a shift in mindset, from defensiveness to curiosity. By understanding the neurochemistry of emotional responses, fostering connection and creating a safe environment, leaders can empower their teams to navigate difficult conversations and build a more cohesive and productive workplace. 

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