Cultivating Patience: Steps to being a Calmer You
Let’s face it people and life can be frustrating at times. Patience hasn’t always been my strength so I can empathise with the many leaders I work with who struggle to be patient when faced with the challenges inherent in influencing the performance of teams, progress of priorities and achievement of results.
There is no doubt that patience is key to personal growth, fostering healthier relationships, and achieving long-term success. Becoming a more patient version of yourself, like any other aspect of character development is a journey that requires awareness, practice, and commitment.
Here are some steps to help guide you towards cultivating greater patience:
Self-awareness. The first step towards cultivating patience is recognising when and why you become impatient. Pay attention to those triggers. Is it traffic? Long waits? Or perhaps certain people or topics? By identifying these triggers, you can anticipate potential sources of impatience and devise strategies to manage them.
Deep Breathing. When you sense impatience bubbling up, take a moment to breathe deeply. Deep, controlled breathing has a calming effect on the nervous system, helping reduce anxiety and stress. It serves as a 'pause button', allowing you to respond rather than react.
Practicing Empathy. Remember, everyone is fighting their own battle. Instead of getting impatient with someone, try to see things from their perspective. Understanding where someone is coming from can soften your reaction and help you to be both tolerant and patient.
Have Realistic Expectations. Sometimes, our impatience is a result of setting unattainable standards for ourselves or others. Be realistic about what you expect, and understand that perfection is a myth. By setting achievable expectations, you reduce potential frustration.
Engage in Mindfulness and Meditation. These practices bring you into the present moment and cultivate a sense of calm. Regular mindfulness and meditation practice can help regulate emotions, increase self-control, and thereby foster patience.
Reframe the Situation. Change your perspective. Instead of viewing a delay as wasted time, see it as an opportunity. Stuck in traffic? It’s a chance to listen to a new podcast or simply take a moment to breath. Dealing with mistakes that people make? Is a coaching moment that shouldn’t be missed. Learning from mistakes can be a powerful influence of future success. Keep in mind that in the grand scheme of things, most sources of our impatience are trivial. Visualize the broader picture and ask yourself if this moment of impatience will matter in a week, a month, or a year.
Ask for Feedback. Often we aren't the best judges of our own behavior. Ask trusted friends, colleagues or family members if they’ve noticed any change in your level of patience. Their feedback can provide valuable insights and motivation to keep improving.
Practice Gratitude. Reminding yourself of the positive aspects of your reality can shift your focus away from immediate frustrations. Gratitude creates an overarching sense of contentment, which can foster patience with where you are right now.
With conscious effort, introspection, and practice, you can certainly evolve into a more patient version of yourself, ready to face challenges with a greater sense of calm and composure.