Dealing with reality
A common and somewhat natural reaction when things are tough is to look to find the cause of our pain. In many cases that means turning our minds to who we can blame. For example, anyone living in Victoria, Australia is likely to have felt or observed frustration with decisions made by politicians and public servant in response to outbreaks.
I have no desire nor intention of getting into a political debate about who should be doing what to avoid for example statewide lock downs and other restrictions to our ways of living. What I’d rather focus on is what we can each do to get through this time with our sanity intact.
No matter what life throws at us, the only power we truly have is to choose how we respond. Choosing our responses, starts with choosing how we are thinking and in turn feeling. Among the most common reason I observe people struggle to shift their mindsets to a more helpful place is the difficulties we have with accepting reality.
By acceptance I don’t mean getting to a place where we are happy about our situation or feel no disappointment. What I am talking about is stopping the urge to rail against the version of reality we are confronted with. By struggling with realty we create avoidable suffering.
You don’t have to like whatever you are accepting – you just need to acknowledge that situations you cannot control are what they are.
Reflect for a moment on how much time you spend thinking or talking about situations that you can’t control. How much energy do you waste being angry or sad that life isn’t going the way you want it to? While these emotions might be understandable, they do nothing to improve our circumstances and, in many instances, make the experience even more uncomfortable or difficult to endure.
There have been moments in my own life when my resistance to accepting my circumstances has undeniably undermined my health, happiness, relationships and success. The simple truth however is that extent to which we are impacted by anyone or anything is up to us. While it can unquestionably be challenging to accept reality, it is ultimately within our power.
Tips
- Recognise when you are ruminating or talking about the way you wish things were and choose to stop
- Look for opportunities or any positive aspects of your circumstances
- Choose to focus on what you can control or influence
- Manage your energy levels through sleep, diet and exercise – choosing positive thoughts is a lot easier when we have energy