Depersonalizing Feedback

Delivering feedback can be a delicate task, particularly when it involves addressing poor performance or conduct. One important technique is to depersonalize feedback. What that means is shifting the focus from the individual to the specific behavior or outcome. Instead of making personal judgments, you highlight the impact of the behavior and offer suggestions for improvement.  

Why Depersonalize Feedback? 

• When feedback is personalized, it can trigger emotional responses and defensiveness. By depersonalizing it, you create a more objective and less threatening environment. 

• Depersonalized feedback fosters open communication by creating a safe space for discussion and learning. 

• By focusing on behaviors and outcomes, you encourage employees to view feedback as an opportunity for growth and development. 

Practical Tips for Depersonalizing Feedback 

Use "I" Statements: Instead of using "you" statements, which can sound accusatory, use "I" statements to express your perspective. For example, instead of saying, "You always come late to meetings," you could say, "I've noticed that I've had to wait for you to arrive at our last few meetings." 

Focus on Specific Behaviors: Instead of making broad generalizations, focus on specific instances of behavior. For example, instead of saying, "Your work is always sloppy," you could say, "The report you submitted last week contained several errors in the data analysis." 

Avoid Judgmental Language: Use neutral and objective language to describe the situation. Avoid words like "lazy," "careless," or "incompetent." 

Offer Constructive Suggestions: Instead of simply pointing out problems, offer specific suggestions for improvement. For example, instead of saying, "Your presentation skills need improvement," you could say, "Consider practicing your presentation a few times before delivering it to the team." 

Other Examples of Depersonalized Feedback 

Personal: "You're always late with your reports."  

Depersonalized: "The last three reports were submitted past the deadline." 

Personal: "Your work is sloppy."  

Depersonalized: "There were several errors in the data analysis of the latest project." 

Personal: "You're not a team player."  

Depersonalized: "There have been instances where your contributions to team discussions have been minimal." 

Personal: "Your attitude is negative."  

Depersonalized: "Your recent comments during the team meeting seemed dismissive of others' ideas." 

Personal: "You need to improve your communication skills."  

Depersonalized: "The email you sent to the client was unclear and lacked essential details." 

Deliver feedback that is both constructive and respectful. Remember, the goal is to help employees improve their performance, not to damage their self-esteem.